Hoping and praying

Time for another update. I really wish there were more exciting updates spaced closely together but we'll take every piece of good news and savor it whenever it comes!! 

So, our son was supposed to have a visa appointment Nov. 20. That didn't happen. I was completely and totally ANGRY. I was angry at our attorney, at our agency, at the government, at myself, at the world......you get the picture. Really in the grand scheme of things this wasn't the huge deal I made it out to be in my head. But I was irrationally upset when I received the email from the embassy telling us our appointment had been missed and none of our documents had been dropped off. Thank God my husband is much more level headed than I am. He has forbidden me from sending any more angry emails to our attorney, our agency or anyone else regarding our adoption. He's a smart one ;)

So, that day didn't start as well as I thought it was going to. I had been up at 2am praying for the interview that didn't happen. I was a hot mess at MOPS that morning trying to communicate with people halfway around the world and figure out what in the heck was going on. The moms there who don't know me probably think I am actually a total and complete hot mess since at the meeting before that we had learned about his visa interview. This adoption has kind of made me a hot mess but I think any mom who is unwillingly separated from her children would be.......

THEN to top it off I got THE email for our daughter. Whoa...perspective. I did not in any way, shape or form want to admit it that day but everything really was being worked out and it was going to be ok. Now, both of our kids have an appointment scheduled together on the same day at the same time for their US Visas. 

This is absolutely amazing and a total answer to prayer. Our I600 was approved on Sept. 6 but not into the system until September 13. And two months later we had visa appointments scheduled. Going off of the wait many other people were having I was shocked to have BOTH of our kids make it through the investigation process so quickly. We were settling ourselves in for a long, long wait.

But, making it through this part of the process so quickly now puts us in the awful, AWFUL position of having everything our kids need to come home except the exit letter. Once visas are issued we will be missing two little pieces of precious paper allowing our kids to leave with us. This suspension could last up to a year. 

Thinking about that makes me hyperventilate. 

We LOVE these kids. No, we haven't met them YET but we love them. We are committed to doing whatever we are able to do to help them heal, to make them a part of our family and to give them a loving home. We aren't going anywhere and we will see this process through until the end and bring these kids home to a family who is anxiously waiting to welcome them. If I could tell the DGM one thing it would be that. I truly do believe they are doing a disservice to MY kids. Yes, I will agree that there are probably parts of the process that need to be refined and fixed but punishing my kids and my family by keeping us apart is cruel and wrong and I wish they could see that. Just because some families had documents dated before a certain date does not make them more qualified to bring their kids home than ME. 

We have been anticipating bringing these kids home for months. And, we've come to a place where we can't wait any longer. We should be making a trip to bring them home at the end of this month. We are still hoping we are able to bring them home as soon as possible and we are asking for others to pray for that as well. But until we can bring them home we will settle for a visit to their country and we will continue hoping and praying for the day we are able to bring them home and complete our family.

Good news - hoping more is on the way!

Well,

It has been too long yet again since my last post on our blog.  Erin is much better at keeping things updated than I, but most of her thoughts get recorded elsewhere now, so this space is left to me.  Sorry for my lack of consistent posts.

I think it is high time I start with a few piece of great news.  First off, we finally got Espoir moved out of the orphanage and into foster care.  We didn't think this was going to be a big deal, but it took months for persistent emails and finally having someone who works for our agency in country personally walking the documents through each step.  It was great to get new update pictures with his fun-loving personality shining through again.  Even better news is that he is now int he same foster family as his sister and one other little one, so they are bonding before we get to meet them both.  I hope he is happy there until we can pick him up.

We also got a great email today - we have a visa appointment for Espoir!  We don't have to be there for this as our lawyer can represent us, but this interview is the last major hurdle before the US Embassy can issue his visa to come home.

More good news is that we still have donations coming in.  This is great, as we are finally approaching the point where the amount left doesn't seem so insurmountable a number anymore.  Praise God from whom all blessings flow - and trust that he will provide what is needed, when it is needed.

Unfortunately, good news always seems to be paired with more waiting and more bad news.  We are still waiting for a visa appointment for Maicha and hoping that we can make one trip to bring them both home.  The DGM (basically the Congolese equivalent of USCIS) has still not resumed issuing exit letters, which also complicates/extends the process for bringing the kids to the US.  Basically until this changes or until they decide which cases can be "grandfathered" in prior to them stopping the exit process, we won't be able to leave the country with our own children. Sad but true.

If you are still considering donating to our adoption process, we really could use the help.  Even though we are excited and extremely grateful for the help we have received, we still need ~$10,000 more to complete the process (and even more if we have to make two trips instead of one).

Please continue to pray for us as a family - all of us.  As the process were's on, Erin and I are becoming more worn and stressed, and this affects life at home as well.  Please pray for us to have peace and continue trusting that his plan is the best.  Please pray for our two kids which we desperately want to hold and care for but can't do it yet.  Please pray that the DRC government allows people to bring kids who are adopted home.

WHY!?

Tonight just keeps getting better and better!  After an extremely long week at work for me (and at home for my wife) I got home to find out that we have an issue with our plumbing and proceeded to dig up the lids for our septic tank and our septic tank cleanout.  The plumber comes tomorrow - please let it be something which is easy to fix.

By now you are probably wondering how any of that relates to our adoption - well it doesn't; but, to top off this week we got news from both our adoption agency and the US government about a new problem in the DRC.  The DGM (General Director of Migration) has stopped issuing exit letters to children being adopted from the Congo internationally.  This basically means that they are not letting people who are ready to take their kids home leave the country, or allowing any more internationally adopted children to leave the country for some unknown period of time.

Why?  That was the first question I asked.  That is easy to answer - once again an adoptive couple has tried to circumvent the DRC rules for adoption and has caused this unnecessary delay for every other person adopting from that country.  Honestly - why can't people just follow the rules so that it doesn't backfire and collapse the process for more than just you!  It makes me angry that people think it is OK to gamble time with my children for their adoption process.  If you don't meet the adoption criteria, don't apply to adopt from that country!  This country might be more lenient than most about the stretching of some of their rules, but some they are quite adamant about keeping - why would another couple try and break the same rule that caused the DGM to shut down in May?

Bottom line: I am upset. I am upset because no one knows how long the lock down will last - maybe a week, maybe a year.  I am upset because I completely understand why they are locking down the exit process and it was caused by something which was completely avoidable.

Please pray for the decision makers in Congo to realize that they should not punish the parents or the children who are waiting eagerly to be united and come home.  Pray that no other couple thinking about adoption breaks the rules and causes the country to rethink whether international adoption of their children is such a good idea.  Pray this shutdown is short and that our investigation process is short so we can quit worrying about other people keeping us from our kids.

Reference: http://adoption.state.gov/country_information/country_specific_alerts_notices.php?alert_notice_type=alerts&alert_notice_file=democratic_republic_of_congo_3

Finally - The Home Stretch

It has been quite awhile since the last post; sometimes it was just too depressing to think about how much still stood between us and our kids.  However, the end is finally "in sight", although we still do not know when it will be.

We recently received news that our I600 application (petition to the US government to request the children be qualified as our immediate family) was approved.  This was the first step in what I would call the last phase in our journey.  Now we have to wait for the US Embassy in Kinshasa (DRC) to do an investigation verifying the veracity of the documents we submitted and the stories of our children.  Although the investigation itself doesn't take much time, there is a significant wait period prior to it being our turn: they estimate 3-6 months.  After the conclusion of the investigation, we will travel for our visa appointment and to pick up our kids and bring them home.

My parents will be sharing a brief view of our journey in their church tomorrow.  This really can't come at a better time as we are needing a big final push in our fundraising to reach the amount needed for the last payment to our lawyer and travel expenses.  If you know anyone with a heart for adoption, please pass along our information and our need.
 
Speaking of homes - ours recently changed.  About a month and a half ago, Erin and I decided that our current home, which we loved, was not going to be a good layout for our family when G and O (the new kiddos) come home.  Thus, we decided to sell our house and find a new one.  This went very quickly (our house was only on the market for two days) and then we visited 25+ houses before finding our new home.  As we unpack boxes and reset up rooms, we look forward to the day when all the rooms are full.

Checking in

Hello everyone!!

I realized it had been a month since our last post!! There is not much new to report. We have passed court and our CONA period which means according to the government of our children's birth country we are legally their parents. We are incredibly excited. Unfortunately we are still playing the waiting game and probably will be for many more months. To be honest I can't swell on it too much or it just gets depressing. We desperately want to have our children in our arms. But, we wait for the proper government and paperwork legalities to be worked out. We are waiting for some documents to be corrected - some simply typos could potentially hold us up later so we feel it is best to wait now and have them fixed. Then we file I600. Once approved it is forwarded to the embassy. Then we settle in to the excruciating (every part of waiting is excruciating) embassy investigation period. We are holding out hope we won't have to wait the entire 6 months while also reminding ourselves to be realistic and prayerfully patient.

So, that's the latest. More waiting. We are praying for an ethical and expeditious process. I don't believe those have to be mutually exclusive of each other. We are hoping and praying our children are being cared for by people who truly care about them and that they are experiencing, even a little, what it feels like to live within a family. Their brother and sisters are anxiously waiting for them to come home and always ask when they will be coming home. We have their pictures up in our house and when the little girls run by their pictures on the fridge they shout out their new brother's name. It really is precious. I cannot wait until he is home and they are shouting at him to stop chasing them ;)

In our life news we have accepted an offer on our house and hope to be moving into a new home this fall. We felt confident that our house would sell but we did not expect it to happen in 3 days. Nevertheless it is one thing to cross off our list of things to think about. Now the fun of finding a home to fit all 8 of us! And a garage that will house our ginormous van!!!!

Prayer Does Stuff

Only a few days have passed since my last posting and our adoption situation has completely changed.  On Tuesday of this week (June 25) we were notified that we had passed court!  This means that according to DRC law, we are officially recognized as the parents of our kids (assuming we have also passed the 30-day appeal period as well).  Now we will move on to dealing with the US Government...hurray...

I believe that this was a reminder to me from God, that when you are in a situation that is draining you and you can't do anything to change it, you should be praying.  Not only should you be praying, you should be asking others to pray for you.  This is always something I have been bad at doing - to ask someone else to pray for you, you first have to be comfortable expressing your situation to them and asking for their help.

It amazes me that we can wait so long and then three days after people start praying for this specific piece of the process to be done, it is.  So, when you are in that place where you can't see the end of the journey because you have sunk so far down in the mud, remember (that as we used to say at camp) PRAYER DOES STUFF.

The Slump

I have hit it - the adoption slump.

I suppose I should first apologize to everyone following our story only through this blog as Erin and I have become somewhat lax in updating it lately.  To be fair, I should say that the reason this hasn't been updated lately is because we really haven't made much progress.

Since we received the referrals of our two new kids in early April, our in country lawyer has been doing most of the work to keep the adoption moving forward.  All the hearings and court documents were collected for both kiddos between when we got their referrals and May 9 - when we were officially submitted to court!  That was a good day, as it was the beginning of the court process to make the kids legally ours.  

We were hoping this would be a quick process - like 4-5 weeks (not uncommon).  It has been 6.5 and we are growing steadily more impatient.  It is very hard for us to sit in the "holding pattern" for this long and not start to feel some discouragement that no progress is being made, especially when we know that this wait will most likely be minuscule in comparison to waiting for the US government to complete their "investigation" of our case (3-6 months after they have approved our paperwork).

Please pray for our patience and our attitudes as this process continues to weigh down on us.  It is very hard to see the light at the end of this tunnel some times, and waiting that much longer to meet and hold our new kids is a heavy load.  Also, please pray for the workers at the US embassy in Kinshasa and the DRC government, that they may be ethical, thorough, and expedient in their work.

One more thing to pray for - please pray that we pass court before the 27th.  It is a birthday present that would make my wife's day special and memorable.

PS Fundraising Update

People ask me fairly often how our fundraising efforts are coming.  I would be remiss if I didn't thank one very generous family member who loaned us a large sum of money to cover an invoice which helped get our case into court.  I would also like to thank everyone else who has been supportive of our adoption financially.  However, there are still some rather large payments which will have to be made, and plenty of opportunity for anyone to help us out (direct donation, puzzle fundraiser, through a 31 party with Erin, etc...).  Please - if you know of anyone with a heart for adoption that would be interested in helping two more kids get to their forever families, pass this page or one of our fundraising cards to them.