Give1Save1 Day 5: Why

(Well - I build up to this post for four days and my wife steals my thunder.  Oh well, I will write it anyways...in all fairness I didn't tell her I was writing a post like this so she has no idea that she wrote what I was thinking.  And instead of putting it at the end; Come back tomorrow to read the post for Day 6)

If you have been following the posts I have been writing this week, they haven't made adoption seem like a very attractive adventure.  There is all the paperwork, the people judging you, the waiting, and the heartache.  Why then would someone do all this?  Why would you keep going and keep on trying to finish this journey?
The answer is very simple and I am confused as to why it is not more apparent to many of the people who have asked us this type of question.  We chose to adopt, which in other words means we chose to love the children God has given us.

It seems quite obvious to me that love is a choice.  It is not genetically implanted that you love your children - look at our society if you need any examples of parents who abuse, neglect, hurt, and even kill their children.  Parents love their children because they choose to.  It is much easier to not be a parent then it is to live being one - when you choose to love a child you are choosing to put their needs before your own.

For anyone who questions why adoptive parents go through such a long, arduous, expensive process to bring children they have not met into their homes, families, and lives, I offer the following questions to ponder.

If you have biological children, when did you start loving them and spending money on them?  We have 4 biological children - and I loved them before I met them too.  I spent money on doctors and decorating rooms for them.  I watched as my wife gave up large chunks of her life to make sure our children had what they needed while in the womb.  I watched as she spent 8 weeks in the hospital on bed rest with our first child so that he would be born instead of finishing her last 3 weeks of college.  We didn't know him then any more than an adoptive parent knows the child they are referred before they meet them - only what a picture or an ultrasound can show.  During those eight long weeks of living in a hospital, not once do I remember her questioning why she was doing it or suggest that it would be easier if we didn't have our precious son.  Why would someone postpone their graduation for someone they hadn't met? Because of love.

If  you are pregnant and there are complications, what would you not risk to bring your child into the world safely and healthy?  Would there be a procedure you would decline because it was too expensive?  Would there be something you wouldn't try even if it were moderately risky for you to do?  I love all my children and there is nothing I wouldn't give to make sure they are happy, healthy, and safe.

There also seems to be a simple precedent set - "For God so loved the world that he sent his one and only son... (John 3:16),"  "to buy freedom for us who were slaves ... so that he could adopt us as his very own children...  (Galatians 4:4-5)."  I am saved by grace through faith in Jesus Christ because of the love of the Father.  Through the payment of his blood, I have been adopted by the Father.  Through their great sacrifice I have been made an heir to the kingdom of heaven.  What would the Father not have given for me? Nothing was to great a price. Why? Because he loved me first.

"But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8)."  "Now you are no longer a slave but God’s own child (Galatians 4:7a)."Was I perfect that he chose me to be his child? Far from it.  I am a sinner, and yet he loved me anyways.  Is there any imperfection a child can have which is greater than the ugliness of sin to a righteous God?  He chose me in my brokenness so he could help make me new.  He loved me in my emptiness so that I could overflow his love.  It is with that same love that I love my children.  It is that love that gives you the strength to make it through the adoption process, no matter how trying.  It is that love that allows you to weather the hardships and become a stronger person and a stronger family.  It is that love that gives you hope in the knowledge that some day you will hold your child in your arms and they will know how much they are loved.