This is a day Mike and I have been dreaming of and talking about since we decided to pursue adoption almost two years ago. The day we met our kids - it's something that you just can't fathom until you're there and experiencing it. I wasn't sure if I would be a blubbering mess of emotions, if I would be so happy I'd burst into tears, if it would be surreal or if it would be a moment of pure joy. We had no way to know if the kids would be happy to see us, if they would be terrified or somewhere in between.
That morning we had gotten word that the kids were on their way. We had no idea when they would actually arrive so most of the morning was a lot of sitting around and just waiting. There were other families and kids there to keep us company and try to keep our minds off of what was about to happen. Literally a minute before the gates opened and our kids drove in Mike had gone back inside the house to our room. I had to send one of the other parents back in to get him. I knew I needed him with me when we met them.
My son was the first one to step out of the car. My first thought was how LITTLE he was!! It's so hard to tell in pictures but he was so small and even more adorable and precious than any of his pictures. He looked around and really just took everything in. His foster mom and her daughter got out next. Mike and I had stepped forward and E saw us. You could tell immediately that he recognized us - he was trying so hard to hide his little smile while he watched us and he was acting so shy.
I went to his foster mom first and said the only think I could think of which was "Merci". That was the only moment when I almost burst into tears. I am so grateful for this woman and all she has done for these two kids and by extension for me. I am able to wait knowing they are with someone who is taking good care of them and who loves them. She gave me a good, tight squeeze and a smile that said she understood all the unspoken words between us. Even now that moment makes me choke up. After that I went to E and knelt down to say hello. The two of us just checked each other out. He looked back to his foster mom as if to double check with her to make sure this was ok. She nodded and said something I didn't understand and that was all he needed to allow me to pick him up.
He tried to be so stoic but his grin kept emerging. We sat down together at the table and I talked to him even though I know he had absolutely no idea what this white lady he'd never met before was saying. I can only imagine what was going through his mind. He obviously recognized us which means he has seen at least some of the pictures I have sent. And I am assuming he had been told we were his parents because he seemed to understand that as well. Still, I'm not sure if he will ever be able to tell us what he was thinking in those moments. It was totally and completely surreal. They were there and they were in our arms! These kids we had prayed so much for and had loved so much from so far away were WITH us!
M was totally and completely zonked out. Her foster sister was carrying her and brought her to Mike. Seeing him holding another one of his baby girls was so neat. We have a picture of him holding Hadley for the first time and he is obviously completely in love and such a proud daddy. This was another one of those moments. Love at first sight. She is such a dainty little thing. One of the most beautiful baby girls I have ever laid my eyes on with a diva-tude to rival any of her sisters.
Their foster mom left us a bottle for her and through a translator gave us some basic info about what they like and some helpful tips. She and her daughter said good-bye and then they were gone. We had Paul explain to E that we were there for a visit and that he would go back to his foster mom in a few days. We wanted that message repeated to him several times so it was less confusing for him and I do think it helped.
Paul talked to E and he started to come out of his shell a little more. I took M and Mike took E to play some soccer. I have video of their first soccer match and video of soccer from the day before we left. The difference is amazing. He totally blossomed and let his personality shine while he was with us. He was so tentative at first though but that smile he tried to hide finally came through and he wasn't afraid to show it. Mike put him on the swing and that grin was there to stay! He LOVED it!
When M woke up she was not particularly pleased to see me. I tried to give her a snack which she took without much enthusiasm. And then she screamed at me and screamed some more until Mike took her and then it immediately stopped. Little did we know that was how the whole week was going to go!!
The rest of the day went well. E was so excited about Fanta so Mike got him some when we went to the store. I had no idea a kid could get that jazzed over a beverage!! Both kids napped and Mike and I just sat and stared at them. It was a lot to take in!!
E found the stash of clothes we brought and immediately wanted to change which was fine. He loved the Thomas trains and the tractor that Elliot had given us to bring for him. And the bathtub - I have never seen anyone SO excited about a bathtub. Turns out he LOVES taking a bath and would have spent the entire week in it if I let him!!
M was very into her daddy. She was fine with me as long as I wasn't holding her. She would smile and play and really is the sweetest little baby. But if I held her it was a blood curdling scream. The only fix was Mike picking her up. And it wasn't just me - it was any other woman even the housekeeper who tried to help calm her down while Mike went to the store. Things did get better as the week went on but she very clearly preferred Mike over me.
We decided not to make a big to-do about E's birthday. I don't think he had any idea that's what the day was. We did celebrate New Years Eve though. We grilled food, made smores and had some fun crowns and glasses to ring in the new year. It was a lot of fun with all the kids and other parents. We went to sleep that night emotionally exhausted but so, so happy and already we knew coming to visit was the right choice. We had only gotten a glimpse of who these kids were but we knew they were amazing and we knew it was a blessing to call ourselves their Mom and their Dad.
It is despicable that you are buying kids who may well be trafficked with other people's money -- you don't love either kid enough to spend YOUR cash yo buy them!
ReplyDeleteYou don't care that they're probably trafficked!
You do not care that DRC is so poor it can't afford to provide it's citizens with clean water, let alone social services... and the lack of social services, the literal lack of DRC capacity to determine whether any given kid is truly orphaned and in need of a new family? You don't care.
You just want these kids whether it is in their best interests or not!! You're buying and want !!!!
Actually -- thank you! Demanding to complete totally unethical adoptions will get international adoption shut down faster than rational demands for reform!!